[Benin] Kpadonou Josiane Iyabo Adjoa, Capital Normal University
I am from Benin, a far and less-known country in West Africa. Before I came to Beijing, I had often heard people saying, “If you want to learn the authentic Mandarin, you’d better go to Beijing!” Now I am in Beijing and I have found out that it is true. But to learn the language is not enough. In Beijing, you can also feel the warmth of the Chinese people and learn about Chinese culture.
I arrived in Beijing in 2017. In the past five years, I have not only learned the authentic Mandarin, but also experienced the hospitality of the people in Beijing. Though people of any country can be described as “hospitable,” but the hospitality of the Beijingers is unique.
My first few months in Beijing was the most depressing period of my life, as I had neither family with me nor any close friends here. I was down every day and I felt so lonely. I was on the verge of depression. I remembered that all I did at that time, except that I had my classes, was staying in the dormitory, even during the holidays. Life was monotonous and dull. I was most afraid of loneliness during the Chinese New Year, for I would experience the sorrow of “being alone away from home missing my family, relatives and friends.” It was not until I made some Chinese friends that I began to feel better. Since then, my life has been enriched and I have found a lot of joy in life. I have begun to display positive energy and appreciate the warmth and kindness of the Beijingers.
The warmth of the Beijingers is not as direct or enthusiastic as ours in Benin. We Beninese shake hands, hug, and even kiss when we greet our guests. The Beijingers are introverted and warm. A “Hi there” greeting and a warm smile is all that is needed to show their hospitality. When I first met my Beijing friends, I was a bit uncomfortable with this type of greeting and felt that they were a bit offish. But as time went by, I realized that the most important thing about warmth for them is the intention, not the way they use it. Perhaps the warmth of the Beijingers is about substance rather than form.
We Beninese say goodbye to our guests with a handshake, a hug or a kiss, whereas Beijingers do not use such physical gestures. A simple “Come often” is probably enough to express their hospitality. Every time I hear these words before I leave a friend’s home in Beijing, I am inexplicably moved. This sentence seems so simple, but it is enough to warm my heart and make me feel as if I have a home in China, a home that I can always return to, a home where I always have my family waiting for me.
In addition to their hospitality, Beijingers are also very generous. When you see a Beijinger with something worthy of compliment, don’t mention it before them. Otherwise, the next words you hear must be, “It’s yours!” Once I met a friend and I noticed that she had a nice bracelet. I said some good words for it. She took her bracelet off immediately and gave it to me. Similar things have happened so many times that I now even don’t dare to say highly of anything of their belongings no matter how nice it may be. Chances are that if you make some favorite comments on a dish in a friend’s house in Beijing, they will probably pack it for you without hesitation. Last spring, I was at a friend’s house in Beijing and I said, “This corn is really good.” When I got up to go home, I was given a huge box of corns. I was so stunned and ashamed.
And I even felt I had deliberately asked them for the corns. Now have you understood what I mean by “hospitality” of Beijing people?
Beijing is a lively city and Beijingers are active. Yet their active nature is in some way static. The Chinese New Year is the most festive time of the year. Since I have made some friends in Beijing, what I used to be most afraid of has even become what I look forward to most. Yes, now I look forward to the New Year and its lively atmosphere. We in Benin make ourselves happy by playing music, singing and dancing, while people in Beijing have a New Year’s Eve dinner with the whole family, playing mahjong and setting off firecrackers after the meal. If the liveliness in Benin is dynamic, Beijing’s is calm. For two consecutive years I spent New Year’s Eve with my friends in Beijing, and each time I felt at home, being with my family. This gave me a sense of belonging in China. I am no longer a wanderer in a strange foreign country.
Being with Beijingers has enriched my life and filled my heart with warmth and joy. My command of Chinese language has also gradually progressed from incompetent to fluent, I can even utter a few authentic Beijing dialects. My friends in Beijing have been my guides in my Chinese learning. Communicating with them is a bit challenging but it is also a chance to push me to improve my language skills. I can’t thank them in words for their kindness and I don’t know how to repay them. No, perhaps “repay” is not the right word, as they have never expected me to do so. I just hope that when I return to my home country, I can become a Chinese teacher. I will share the love I have in Beijing with my future students, so that they can feel love from Beijing and the love from China.
Thank you all for the warmth and help you have provided for us foreigners living in Beijing. You have made our study abroad so colorful. We can easily and happily integrate ourselves into the Chinese culture. All this helps to realize our Chinese dreams in Beijing. Coming to Beijing is worth it!
The story is from "My Beautiful Encounter with China" Essay Competition organized by the Chinese Service Center for Scholarly Exchanges (CSCSE).
